I Should Have Already Mastered Everything.
S.H.A.M.E.
This is one of my favorite healing acronyms of all time.
Should Have Already Mastered Everything.
When I heard it for the first time, it landed with such strong resonance.
In the blink of a teary eye, I had flashes of the many times I'd experienced shame (especially around money) because of this idea or belief that I should have 100% already mastered everything about money.
Do you also believe you should have already mastered everything with money?
Take a healing moment to try this on.
If you give the money shame a voice, is it saying... I
Should
Have
Already
Mastered
Everything?
As a Financial Coach for 17 years, I've probably seen every flavor of shame there is, and money and sex are at the top.
Financial shame can show up...
-when receiving an inheritance from family members who have passed away
-when we feel we don't have enough money or aren't earning enough money
-when we spend more money than we have
-when we see others earning or even spending more than us
-when we're in debt
-when our retirement account or assets or not where we think they should be
-...and even when we have more money than others.
These are just a few flavors of what financial shame can look like.
Shame can cause us to hide and isolate, out of fear that other people might see us as inadequate, or because we already see ourselves as inadequate or fundamentally flawed.
And feelings of inadequacy reinforce shame, causing us to avoid acknowledging, feeling, and addressing it.
Can you imagine how this dynamic can keep us in a rut, blocking us from embodying our full potential with money?
Today I want to provide you with a healing antidote to financial shame, and share how you can even use shame to provide graceful growth on your financial path.
The first step is to identify where the financial shame is coming from.
And to do so, you can ask yourself these 3 questions:
1 . Does this shame come from the belief that 'I should have already mastered everything with money'?
2. Is this shame an indicator that I'm out of alignment with my values, authenticity, or integrity with myself or others?
3. Is this shame coming from a subconscious belief that I'm fundamentally flawed or inadequate?
Start by answering these questions, and then we'll explore how to transform this shame into power in the next step.
Now that you've gained more clarity on what's behind your personal experience of financial shame, let's talk action steps!
If you answered #1 (I should have already mastered everything when it comes to money), here's what you can do.
Take 15 minutes to write down your greatest gifts, skills, and positive character traits when it comes to money.
Write down the things you're good at, your current assets, and the places where you've grown and created positive change with money.
Read through the list, and celebrate yourself, and your growth and achievements with money.
Once you've done so, identify one financial area that you still need to learn and grow into.
It could be growing your earning power, setting up a healthier savings practice, taking a little more risk with investing, or implementing a more efficient tracking system.
Commit to having this as a healing money focus this year, and delineate a clear action step along with a timeline.
Write down your financial intention and place it where you can clearly see it every day. Then, add your action step to your calendar.
If you answered #2 (This feeling of shame is an indicator I'm out of integrity), here's what you can do.
Shame isn't always a negative emotion.
In some cases, it helps us recognize where we've gone off-track with our financial plan, or out of alignment with our values, integrity, or authenticity.
In this case, you can resolve shame by making amends.
For example, let's say you recently went on a trip, you didn't plan in advance where the resources would come from, and you spent much more than you expected.
You can make amends by asking, how do I repair this with myself?
You could choose to make adjustments in your spending for the next few months to compensate for the overspending, commit to planning in advance for future trips and add a contingency, set up a clear tracking system for your spending, or choose to build healthier savings for your travel.
You can additionally share the repair with a money success friend, to relieve the isolation and create personal accountability.
Ask yourself what you've learned that you'll take with you into future decisions.
And make amends by taking action that will give you a sense of financial peace and resolution.
If you answered #3 (I have a belief that I'm fundamentally flawed or inadequate), here's what you can do.
While guilt is a feeling that we've done something wrong, shame can be a feeling that we are wrong and cannot be fixed.
In this case, we might experience financial shame because we haven't been able to earn enough to support our needs or goals, and we may subconsciously feel that we're inadequate or a faulty human being, and there's nothing we can do about it.
But when we take a closer look at that belief, we'll find that while we may need to work with certain limitations, we absolutely have the power to make a change.
Step by step, by training our minds (our money psychology), learning self-hypnosis, and implementing effective money practices, we can strengthen our earning power.
If you're feeling an innate sense of shame, take the opportunity to address and adjust this belief so that you can start to experience a different outcome.
Set a day and time to create a celebration ritual for yourself.
Start by setting aside 15 minutes to write down your favorite qualities about yourself, and those innate gifts and qualities that consistently serve you and others in positive ways.
Then, write down what you've accomplished in the past year that feels really good and meaningful to you.
Ask for help from the cosmos to transform any character challenges that cause you to feel inadequate.
These may look like: making decisions from a place of fear, not doing due diligence on financial decisions, overspending, comparing against a model of perfectionism, or a slew of others.
And ask three of your closest loved ones to write a list of your character assets, and share with them that you're going through a process of healing and transforming shame.
Sharing our vulnerability with others is incredibly powerful and dissolves hidden shame!
It's at the core of many recovery and healing programs.
Keep these lists close by for any time the shame kicks in, and discover how amazing it can be to read the lists out loud to yourself.
Next, commit to one new thing you'll do to consistently cherish yourself and nourish your well-being.
You'll feel more healing happen day by day.
This could be taking a walk in nature, bodywork, reading a new book, going to the sauna or a cold plunge, and or anything that uplifts YOUR unique spirit and grants you deep self-care.
And if you're ready to transform patterns of shame and under-earning into financial expansion... we have some very exciting news!
We're launching a brand new, 12-week financial-upleveling mastermind called Earning Power.
This will be a life-changing, immersive, and powerful group coaching program to propel you into growing your earning power and realizing your most-aligned financial goals.
The program includes weekly coaching calls, along with proven techniques, tools, and practices to make a beautiful shift in your financial life.
This is a unique opportunity to work with Joetta, whose 1:1 client schedule is filled for the foreseeable future, and to learn the secret keys of her signature financial transformation system.
You can learn more about Earning Power and our clients' results here: Earning Power: A 12-Week Financial-Upleveling Mastermind with Joetta Johnson.
We start March 15th, and we'd love to have you there with us! We invite you to join us and a small group of committed individuals who are ready for deep financial transformation.
Learn more and take advantage of our special Early Bird Offer until February 22nd.