Do this & Get on the Same Money Page with Your Lover
Today, I’ve got an especially sexy topic for you:
Why being on the same money page with your partner is key to improving all things money.
When we're on the same page with a partner, things can definitely feel a lot sexier, because stress and strife are reduced.
Life unfolds in seasons and cycles and each season has its unique power.
When we embrace them and let go of our resistance or attachment to them, they can flow from state to state without us getting caught up in fear or anxiety.
There are seasons in life when we're in a relationship, and seasons when we're not.
And just like day transitions into night, and night into day, neither is better than the other — but we might have our preferences.
Being single is an opportunity to work on our relationship with money and know we have the power to create an abundant financial reality on our own and to build a foundation of financial sovereignty.
Being in a relationship offers a different kind of journey with money, one that’s about merging visions, sharing goals, and forging a consistent financial path that works for you both.
Whether we’re on our own or in partnership, we can appreciate the beauty and growth each phase brings.
And in both configurations, the level of intention and commitment we bring to our financial life has the power to change everything.
My Personal Story of Financial Partnership
Recently, I went through a relationship separation, and it was one of the most challenging experiences of my life because of the deep love and alignment we share.
Life was moving us in different directions. And when we allow life to move us, instead of holding on or being in resistance, we open ourselves up to the magic of where life wants to take us.
One thing that stood out during this transition was how well my former lover and I had dialed in our financial partnership.
We had created a strong foundation in money management and wealth-building, including buying a home together, building savings and making smart investments.
This led us to a surprising realization:
Our financial partnership was something worth preserving.
Our financial synergy was so effective that, even after our romantic relationship shifted, we decided to continue this aspect of our partnership.
By continuing to co-own our home and manage part of our resources together, we found a new way to maintain abundance and alignment.
The key to making this work was being on the same page financially.
Our shared vision and commitment to our financial goals have allowed us to navigate this transition smoothly and to discover new possibilities we hadn’t imagined before.
It might seem unconventional, but when we trust life's flow and remain open to experimenting with new ways of being, incredible things can happen.
5 Steps to Getting on the Same Page Financially
So how did we get on the same page financially?
And how can you achieve that same alignment in your relationship, whether with yourself or with your partner?
You may feel out of sync when it comes to money and your partner, but it doesn’t mean it can’t radically change.
Each partner brings their own beliefs, patterns, and behaviors around money, and often, these don’t initially align.
But here's the secret:
understanding and honoring these differences is the first step towards creating a shared financial life that truly works for both of you.
Here are 5 steps I found worked for us, and consistently support my clients in creating solid and prosperous financial partnerships.
1. Establish a Unified Vision
For my partner and me, it all started with a vision.
We asked ourselves the big questions: What is our ultimate vision with money?
What do we want our financial future to look like?
Do we want to increase our income?
How important is it to us to invest, build assets, and feel mutually supported in our financial journey?
Should one of us manage the finances, or should we do it together?
These conversations were crucial.
What we found is that our vision was to make money feel abundant, stable, and ever-growing.
Together, we mapped out what truly mattered to us — investing in our future, building assets, and creating a strong financial partnership so that we didn’t feel alone in managing our money.
This vision guided our steps and kept us aligned as we worked towards a shared financial future.
Even though I had coached couples for many years, the experience of blending financial intimacy with partnership was far more magical and illuminating than I could have imagined.
In your own life, start by envisioning your ideal financial future, 5 to 10 years down the road.
What do you see? What kind of assets do you want?
Do you want Airbnb properties and rental properties that are cash flow positive?
Do you want healthy retirement accounts that provide for the rest of your lives?
Do you want to live in multiple places, or have multiple homes that give you access to different environments and ways of living?
Do you want many savings accounts that fund different dreams in your lives?
What are your dreams that you want to fund together?
Once you have a clear picture, break it down into actionable goals.
What needs to happen in the next year to bring you closer to that vision?
These time-bound financial goals become the stepping stones to your greater vision.
If you’re not currently in a relationship, imagine your ideal partnership.
What does financial alignment look like in that scenario?
Is it about traveling the world, living in a vibrant city, prioritizing a healthy lifestyle, or having your money work for you through investments?
Getting clear on your vision will help you attract a partner with similar financial values.
2. Identify & Address Your Financial Patterns & Habits
Next, take a deep dive into your financial patterns and habits.
Do you have recurring patterns like overspending, hoarding, getting into debt, or under-earning?
Be honest with yourself and your partner about these tendencies, so you can heal and evolve together.
In my relationship, we openly discussed our financial shadows and held each other accountable.
This transparency was incredibly powerful and made a huge difference. And we released any shame around these patterns.
If you're not in a partnership right now, find a mentor or trusted friend to share your insights with.
Being willing to look at your money patterns. Continuously working on them and improving them is essential.
It not only prepares you for a stronger financial partnership in the future, but also helps you grow right here and now towards the financial growth you desire.
By far, one of the most important things you can do with money is shift your patterns to healthier ones.
3. Create a Spending Plan
Once you’ve crafted your vision and addressed your patterns, it’s time to create a spending plan that reflects both your current reality and future goals.
Your spending plan should clarify your income, expenses, and available funds for investment.
Whether you're creating a spending plan with your partner or on your own, clarity about your income and expenses is the foundation.
Your spending plan is what provides a tangible, practical roadmap to your financial vision.
Are you clear about the numbers coming in, and the numbers going out?
This is the clarity needed for you to see exactly how much extra you have to invest or save, so you can grow in alignment with your vision.
4. Set Inspiring Income Goals
This level of clarity also opens the door to growing your income and earning power.
Consider your current income, and set a clear income goal in the form of an income range that is slightly above where your current income is.
For example, you can aim to increase your income by $1,000 to $5,000 more each month.
Think of it as a stretch goal that inspires you to grow and keep building financial momentum.
Then what I do is infuse myself with the income goal as if it's in motion and happening, and then my behaviors and actions naturally align with the goal.
This is one of the easiest ways we can increase our income
5. Prioritize Regular Financial Meetings
When it comes to financial success, however you personally define yours, consistency is key.
Regular financial check-ins, or money dates — weekly or bi-weekly — are essential to maintain alignment.
I recommend dividing these meetings into "Bug’s Eye" sessions, where you focus on the details (like staying on top of your cash flow and expenses), and "Bird’s Eye" sessions, where you revisit your larger vision, assess your progress, and make adjustments as needed.
In Summary:
In summary, these are the 5 keys to getting on the same page financially:
1. Establish a Unified Vision
2. Identify & Address Your Financial Patterns & Habits
3. Create a Spending Plan
4. Set Inspiring Income Goals
5. Prioritize Regular Financial Meetings
And this works!
I've seen it happen over and over and over again.
And you can do this too, but it needs to be a conscious choice.
The Power of Structure
The truth is, simply talking about money isn’t enough.
What gets you on the same page financially is structure — structured conversations, structured goals, structured tasks, and structured tracking.
Structure is what forms a powerful bond between you and your partner, a bond that allows you to harness your financial resources in the most effective way possible.
So, whether you’re currently in a relationship or single, start by envisioning your financial future.
Share this blog post with your partner, or hold that vision for the partnership you desire.
Even if you’re in the dating stage, take the lead in these conversations and you'll pave the way for a successful and fruitful partnership.
And if you're ready to put this kind of structure in place, I have a coaching slot available and would love to support you in getting on the same money page.
Sign up for a Discovery Call and don’t let time keep passing you by!